The memoir you are about to read is a disclosure of personal and familial experiences with family violence. More specifically, it highlights experiences of child neglect and abuse, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence, as well as the emotional and physical symptoms that often result. Because it contains graphic and potentially overwhelming information it may not be easy to read. In fact, some of my experiences may trigger somatic reactions, resulting in sensed feelings of discomfort, shock, and perhaps shame. The point is, this was and is my reality, and I invite and encourage you to read it in its entirety. The story does have a happy ending and it clearly illustrates important concepts in trauma-informed awareness.
I offer my story as an impassioned call for therapists, clinicians, and teachers to better understand prenatal and perinatal psychology and trauma informed practices. According to SAMHSA’s concept of trauma-informed approach we need to 1) Realize the widespread impact of trauma and understand potential pathways for recovery; 2) Recognize the signs and symptoms of trauma in clients, families, staff, and others involved it the system; 3) Respond by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices; and 4) Seek to actively resist re-traumatization (https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/trauma-violence/trauma-informed-approaches-programs). This is critical not only for self-care, but also for client care, a lesson some of us don’t learn until later in our lives and careers. In fact, it wasn’t until I began studying prenatal and perinatal psychology and enrolled in the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Educator (PPNE) Certificate program offered by The Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH), that I realized the extent to which my history impacted my subsequent, yet not entirely conscious beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as my relationships and the career paths I took. I also became acutely aware of how my own unhealed imprints impacted my relationships with my clients and students. This is because unhealed wounded healers, by virtue of the Law of Attraction, tend to attract clients who have wounds and issues similar to theirs (Weinhold, 2018).
In retrospect, it comes as no surprise that for twenty years I worked as a childbirth educator, doula, and apprentice midwife. And then, for the next twenty years taught courses such as Family Violence, Sociology of the Family, and Couples and Family Therapy. I also became a domestic violence (DV), intimate partner violence (IPV), rape crisis counselor; family mediator; and more recently a divorce mediator. Birthing and mothering my own children and doing my life’s work has been my way of making the world a better and safer place. It has also been a path of self- discovery, repair, and healing. Everyone has their own unique story that needs to be heard. This is mine . . .
